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Weighty Matters at the Slop-Chute By Don McKay
If you have lived in Alaska for more than a day and a half, you no doubt have had the opportunity to bend elbows with the local experts on the dynamics of subjects such as flora and fauna, fishing and hunting and other such weighty matters that are the exclusive domain of Alaskans. And high on that list is the debate on how to deal with face to face confrontations with Brown Bear, a subject that is dear to our heart (attack?). Not that there is necessarily a consensus on such matters, or any matter for that matter, because it has been my observation that there are as many opinions on any one subject as there are subjects, and you can walk away after a beer or two, scratching your head and wondering if it was the booze or did you not really learn anything. Take bear eye-contact for instance. Now eye contact with a brown bear is a subject that not only is worthy of debate, but if you take notes and learn your lessons well, it may even save your life one day. This issue is whether you are better off, that means safer in the North, by engaging a bruin with a stare-down tactic should you happen to cross paths, or are you better off avoiding his eyes while you quietly attempt a dignified withdrawal. This subject may seem like a miniscule item on your learning curve To-Do list, but let me hasten to remind you that, if you desire to continue your halcyon existence of chasing fish and game and comfortably join the crowd at the local slop-chute to brag about your conquests, real or imagined, it will be to your advantage to come out ahead in a bear-to-body exchange. And a mutual eyeball exchange is on top of the list, just below weapon caliber and the relative values of bear-spray. (We won't include bear-bells, since all they do is decorate the bear scat.) Having picked brains of those who care enough to send the very best advice, and have the longevity to prove it, I can safely pass on what appears to be the conventional wisdom of longing looks. I had the good fortune to spend a few hours with some fellow authors at a local book-signing at which the four of us authors had plenty of time to share war-stories since the customers amounted to what we could count on one hand. And the author I am referring to in this epistle, Steve Stringham, has written five books about dealing with bears in Alaska, and professes to have survived over a thousand encounters. And he appeared to have all of his appendages and had no apparent scars so his credibility was untarnished. Besides, he had a PH.D in the biological sciences so either he was so well educated that he truly did have the magic solution to dealing with wild animals, or he was like the other lower campus types I have met who sported slide rules in their back pockets and their knuckles dragged on the ground. Either way, his observations are worth the price of admission. The eyes have it in two ways; hostile or benign. The professor claims that if you encounter a bear going about his business of fishing or looking for food, they most likely will avoid starring at you. In which case, we should do them the courtesy of ignoring them as well. They don't want to be bothered, either. If convenient, you might consider slowly removing yourself from his perimeter, but don't be in an obvious hurry. Walk, don't run, to the nearest exit. If you are packing fish or game, you may consider dropping your haul and leave it as a peace offering. If he gets wind of it, he may change his mind about your being beneath his dignity. On the other hand, if your bear has had a bad day at the office, he may give you the look of your boss when he is about to fire you. This is the hostile look that you really don't need. This is the time that you may want to make sure your .44 Magnum is loose in its holster, or your rifle is chambered. Here again, however, you don't want to hightail it out of there at High Port. You will still need to conduct a staged withdrawal, slowly but surely, and don't worry about continuing a steady gaze at those angry eyes. And if you are packing some fish, this would be an excellent time to lighten your load while you are getting out of Dodge. The second encounter described above is not the usual one. But it happens. More often, unfortunately, this type of engagement will come as a surprise, from out of the bush, or from beside the trail, with little or no warning. If it does, all bets are off with regard to protocol and if you find yourself facing a charging bear, just be glad that you spent some time at the range, drawing and firing, single action. Single action is four times more accurate, but it takes some practice and a whole lot of self-control. But one well-aimed shot taken in one second is a hell of lot more effective than spraying 6 rounds randomly, and probably wildly, using double action. Besides, it's more entertaining to relate these experiences to the boys at the slop-chute than have them read about you in the obits. #
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